Who should the children spend Christmas with?

Christmas is a time of year many separated parents find difficult to navigate, often trying to balance the magic of Christmas whilst splitting the children’s time between different households. This can be further exacerbated by other factors such as parental conflict or distance between homes.

This time of year can be especially difficult for separated families, and parents often struggle with the prospect of spending Christmas Day without their children.

Popular Christmas arrangements for separated families

When it comes to Christmas arrangements for separated families, there is often not a ‘one size fits all’ solution. Provided there are no safeguarding concerns, the court will always favour a proposal that allows the children to spend the Christmas period with both parents, although this does not always mean splitting Christmas Day itself.

The arrangements can be designed to suit your own family’s needs, which may look very different for different families. Sometimes this may mean sharing Christmas Day itself, particularly if you live locally to one another. Other times it may be more practical for the children to be with one parent on Christmas Day and the other parent on Boxing Day, with that arrangement alternating each year to ensure both parents are able to enjoy Christmas Day with the children on alternate years. Some parents, especially those who live further apart, may even choose to simply split the Christmas school holidays in half and alternate on different years.

The key factor to bear in mind when considering how to divide the children’s time at Christmas is that there is no right or wrong way to do it. The arrangements should be designed to suit what is best for the children and your family. However, in some circumstances, it is not always that simple, and factors such as safeguarding issues or parental conflict can make agreeing on these arrangements much more challenging.

What happens if you can’t agree on Christmas arrangements for the children?

In the event you cannot agree on the arrangements for the children, you may wish to consider seeking legal advice to review your options. In the first instance, we would recommend sending a solicitor's letter to the other parent to set out a proposal for Christmas. If that letter is not successful in achieving an agreement, we would suggest a referral to mediation or another form of Non-Court Dispute Resolution (NCDR). This will enable both parents to discuss matters directly with one another in a neutral environment with the assistance of an experienced mediator or collaborative lawyer to try and reach an agreement.

If all other alternative options have been unsuccessful, a parent can make an application to the family court under Section 8 of the Children Act 1989 for a Child Arrangements Order and/or a Specific Issue Order. This is an application to ask the court to deal with a specific issue, namely the arrangements for the children over Christmas.

Of course, court proceedings are costly, and you will often need to weigh up if those costs are proportionate. Furthermore, parents are less likely to achieve flexibility in those arrangements if a judge is having to make the final order. It is, therefore, favourable to reach an agreement without an application to the family court.

If the parents are already in private law Children Act proceedings before the family court, the arrangements for Christmas can be recorded in a court order alongside the other arrangements for the children.

If you or someone you know would benefit from legal advice or assistance in relation to the above issues, please do not hesitate to get in touch with a member of our experienced family team at info@biscoes-law.co.uk or 023 9266 0261.